How to stop being jealous of ex moving on reddit Or check it out in the app stores     TOPICS. With some honest introspection and reflection, and communicating those feelings with others, you won't exactly stop feeling jealous. That's not cheerleading; it's the truth. If you have to ask yourself if you trust your girlfriend, then you already have your answer. I did everything I was “supposed” to a sabotaged it because none of it was what I wanted. You're hurting yourself and your relationship by obsessing over her, when you should be concentrating on moving your relationship with your BF forward. You’re not going to stop being jealous of social people if you are not social but want to be. This is my first post on Reddit. That's not how it works. They text pretty frequently. I still love my ex to bits 7 months later, to me she was the person I would spend the rest of my life with, she's moved on with someone else the day after breaking up with me, so that's her version. She is your ex! Let her stew in her jealousy or move on. Since then I found out that they have moved in together in a bougie apartment in the city that I've been trying to It's best if you let him go. Let That gut-wrenching moment when you find out your ex has moved on with someone else. But the whole point is how to minimize it. Quit feeling bad about yourself and use this jealousy as fuel to change. Do another week if you need it. This is pretty much what I would have written. My current relationship is the best I’ve ever had, he’s the love of my life and with that came a new feeling of jealousy I’ve never experienced before. In general, I think it's a sign that you feel insecure in some way about your current relationship if you feel jealous of a partners exes-- this could be because your partner is behaving in a way that isn't promoting a sense of trust or security, or because you have some things to work through yourself, but either way-- there isn't a lot of 4. As soon as you start comparing, you will quickly find somebody with more money, better luck, smarter, faster, or stronger. If your only advice is 'divorce', 'dump them', 'your SO sucks' or 'grow a backbone' then please don't comment. I could be misreading, but I think that’s what the poster above was On the other hand, I am jealous. At the end of the week shred them. Ended all communication by being ghosted, just left in a void. Recently, I saw an old documentary about caricatures (I'm not a caricaturist myself but I love that craft), and on some moment they show an international convention of caricaturist and what I saw there blow my mind, a lot of amazing You really should not have accepted this role if you weren’t able to be all in for her. Since I was a child, that’s an emotion I simply don’t feel. No texting. And as other people have said, everyone struggles. Also, don't believe people who think you can not not be jealous of others. our partner might leave or die, our children could move abroad or possibly reject us as they grow older This is a good thing to acknowledge. That is the point of the whole thing. Find a signature perfume. Years later, one of my stepkids told me that some of the happiest memories of her childhood were when I was married to her dad, and I treasure that. Being a human everyone has the characteristic called jealousy. 3. Google & Reddit are basically my knowledgeable support system for most things. medical conditions/advice, mental illness, letters to an ex, "body counts" or number of sexual partners, legal problems, financial problems, situations involving minors, and/or abuse (violence, sexual, emotional I agree with the ESH's. Social media isnt worth it and not having it has saved my mental health. To stay disciplined in your path. I’m a couple years younger than you but I make about $90k in a mid-COL area, and while I don’t particularly love my job, being able to take at least 1 international trip a year along with a weekend trip or two a month is my fulfillment. She likely didn’t enjoy all of the encounters, though it likely also wasn’t fear based or painful. I know this is unhealthy, but I need to find a way to deal with it. You aren’t being controlling or jealous- you are expecting the basics. Eventually you will find one where you are that “smarter/better” person that others are jealous of. It's called emotional reasoning: the feeling creates an illusion that those other girls are more attractive than you. Basically, how you stop being jealous of other girls is by learning to embrace yourself for both your strengths and weaknesses and to focus on growth - once a person decides they don’t have anything left to learn or any more room to grow, they’ve basically decided they’re done living. Focus your efforts on being attractive - something that actually can be achieved with effort and not genetics or surgery - and see how your outlook improves. does your boyfriend still talk to his ex? are they friends? if not, you shouldn’t worry (which is hard, i know). You slip and fall everyday, but it's important to keep moving forward despite everything. Play the long game, you’ll be better off than them in 5+ years, just don’t focus on what they have With no ability to protest, and a lot of potential for feeling angry, betrayed and disappointed, you may feel overwhelming jealousy. No need to be jealous. These “woulda, coulda, shoulda” thoughts are a common symptom of depression and all they do is keep you feeling low and prevent you from working on yourself in the present. I took my time to heal and that was the best option for me. Stop stalking the ex. Tell him it bothers you and you want the texting/selfies to stop. There's also girls who don't tend to keep in touch with their exes, and guys that appreciate that because they get jealous easily. That's when being single and healing should be a must. I had a really hard time being happy for others, even when i really wanted to be (like a close friend getting something good) because i was jealous. ) it seems nearly all of your gripes with her stem from jealousy. I don't know what to do about this. A month ago, at age 39, I came out as lesbian to my husband of 18 years. But getting off your butt and accomplishing things. Understand their perspective and find ways to heal and move forward. He was dating and that is one time I felt kind of jealous of an ex. But that means I had to ask him to stop going drinking with his ex's alone, which he didn't like, but has done now. Being jealous of others means that you have thoughts about the lives of other people and your body reacts to those thoughts One of these exes literally asked for me back last month (he was the one who broke up with me!) But I turned him down as I didn't want him back so why am I now consumed with jealousy? It makes me want to move on and date again too as I feel like that's the only way to get past this. Whether they’re seeing, sleeping with or in a full blown relationship with someone else, the pain of knowing that it’s really over can be unbearable. Jealousy – It is like a slow poison which will kill you each moment. I wouldn't be jealous of any of my past partners, full stop. OP I would advise you There's a valid reason to be "jealous" because we all know 95% of male "friends" secretly or overtly want to become more. She seemed better in almost every way. Do something today that gets you Several of my ex's have had guys living with them less than 3 weeks after break up. You may have ideas about who you should be, often based on very high or unrealistic standards that you see others emulating. Your manager being a woman does not negate the fact tech is still heavily male-dominated and bro-culture: But at the same time I feel like it's so unfair to me that I have to stop being friends with my best friend because my gf is insecure whereas my gf can continue being in contact with 3 different exes. You should acknowledge your feelings, validate them because it’s human and ok to feel this way, and then focus on what you can control to move forward Getting over being jealous of colleagues . Practice. Like anything else, you practice getting past it, and it lessens over time. I've been dabbling in meditation and it helps a bit but I So fucking CUT TIES. The problem is Vincent. (Don't ghost him) It's not fair for you to hang around him if you think you'll never be attracted to him. Pretty much all of them have had a guy less than 2 weeks after break up. Being jealous of someone is one thing, for the most part we can’t help that. New comments cannot be posted and votes cannot be cast. realize many people end up having to move back home with parents to get out of debt if they dont have a 6 figure job. This fear can be a fear of ending up alone, a fear of being rejected or a fear of losing the love of your partner. The post has no comments and no clear advice or solution. But to me it just means moving on with my life. Hearing about her, on one hand appreciating the fact he had someone like her in his life, I was also jealous. I love how I stopped being jealous of other people . I do feel negative emotions, but jealousy isn’t one of them. A certain amount of jealousy, a human emotion, is normal. You got good advice, and I want to add on from the perspective of a woman in a male dominated industry. Protip: your feeling of jealousy is separate from external reality. ” She had all the friends, all the guys, smart, artistic, etc. Stop being stuck in jealousy because it doesn’t serve you. Again, I'm learning to do the same, albeit at a snail's pace. It was so taxing on the relationship I had to end it because after the 5th major reassurance exercise in 5 months, I realized I didn't have the energy or appetite for it. Reply reply You're greatful you have access to an electronic device so you can ask strangers questions on Reddit Five things each day, so you start focusing on what you DO have, not what you don't. if if i could tell my younger brother anything is that you're fucking amazing in your own way. (Pseudo) joke solution time; don't bother with a girlfriend and only hang out with the Bros. I’m having a super bad day which began with bad dreams about him breaking up with me and dating other girls. It's important to take time for yourself to process the emotions you are feeling, whether that means talking about it with friends or family, writing in a Secondly, life doesn't owe you an easy life. cover charges at bars, premium dating profiles, social influencers, sex work with advertisements and sponsors, etc. The worst part is, even with friends I love and care about, I find myself not being truly Ex. It has been months and I'm still in therapy learning to trust again and still cry over it. We have each moved on and had other relationships since. Despite being treated well i was in a field where new hires out of school were making 80-85% of what I was making after 3 years. I'm still trying to come to terms with it, but I figure it'll just get easier in time, so I cast it out of my mind every time it tries to enter. Of course I have friends and family that love me but like having the entire world love you and mourn you if you die would be nice. I also had a former friend who seemed “perfect. I recognize that I'm being jealous and petty, but the negative thoughts still keep occurring. I don't think moving on means getting with someone else, at least not how I interpret it. You can't be jealous of the results without being jealous of the work and circumstances that led to those outcomes. In practical terms, moving beyond your emotions, make plans and cut them up into achievable goals with dates. Become the best version of yourself. My ex is like this when in reality she lives a super shallow sad life but on IG shes soooooo happy. If the jealousy is really affecting you, I recommend counseling. I guess if I were alone, jealousy would be automatic, but if I'm seeing someone else too and it's good, I don't worry about it and it doesn't bother me. Reset their progress in life back to the stone age by using gossip and rumors, their weaknesses against them. Remember, the path to Stoic serenity is a journey, not a destination. "Jealousy" usually has a negative connotation attached, but any feeling can be taken too far. If Initially being the later one to move on sucks. just think about past relationships you’ve been in, i’m sure you’ve had exes before. Not necessarily about the jealousy you're feeling (actually, I don't think it's jealousy so much as envy, and there's a difference), but more about ways in which you are made to feel important. But this is okay, it's good that you are not pinned down by someone who keeps you as an option. Why? Well, now whenever she sees me at street or bar she cant stop looking at me even when she is with new bf ( talking about that feeling when someone is staring at you even if you dont look at them). So, I jumped ship. I feel inferior and insignificant a lot of the time. Gaming dr- I'm very jealous and insecure over boyfriend's past adventurous sex life and emotional bond with his ex. I don't have kids yet, so I'm sorry I don't have direct experience that is applicable. 1. I can understand your anger especially at the fact that she does not even acknowledge her own daughter. Right now you're in a 3-party relationship because you brought the ex into it, yourself. Being happy and hugging your friends or walking around humming your favourite song is cool. I even sometimes avoid my friends just because there's a voice constantly reminding me that I'm far behind and I need to work. Sooo many guys are sick of hearing about me from my ex's lol. But you're absolutely right, it's not about you. Get the Reddit app Scan this QR code to download the app now. Use it to get motivated for achieving whatever it is that’s making you jealous in the first place. So if they do just keep jumping the other person is just being used. You can't be jealous of them moving on if they never move on. OP is getting jealous over something so completely trivial and childish, that yes, the solution here is to realize she is her own person with her own mind and OP needs to stop being jealous. First, talk to him. During our period of reconciliation, I learned that the guy cheated on my ex non-stop for the 2 months they were first together (think anonymous sex ads on craigslist). Jealousy is a motivator. Know this- you can’t change him. over half of adults under 30 live with parents, many who move out to live on campus move back home for years later to get it paid off. These are all very stoic points being made. It’s because of how little you perceive yourself to be. The best way to move on and stop allowing it to torture your thoughts is to stop looking at their stuff and block them. The idea that you are stuck is an illusion. Make it clear to your ex that you're sorry she's having a hard time but you broke up for good reasons and aren't interested in her any longer. Doesn't matter who did it first. I want to overcome being so jealous. One step at a time you move forward. I've also had 0 success with dating since. Nothing comes for free. As you say, this is more related to a mental health topic than a drawing one (can be another "object" of jealousy and the same will apply). Hit the gym, lose bodyfat while building muscle, get enough sleep, take care of your skin and beard (if you have one), experiment with haircuts until you find one that really suits you, elevate your fashion sense and style, meet more people, learn about social skills. I know that happiness is an adventure but I don’t want the fat headache of transferring. Him being jealous of her is absurd. You're fine. People should take responsibility for their own lives rather than be jaded by people who are doing well at life. If you’re jealous because of your own insecurities, then work on yourself. Think about it for a while. The cure is to stop comparing yourself to others, whether it be financially, romantically, capability or other ways. View community ranking In the Top 1% of largest communities on Reddit. Focus on the two of you, not the two of them. i promise it doesn't. But you will notice that those feelings have started to lessen and be less intense when they come. Nicole and Sarah dated and they had an "explorative relationship. In the process you’ll also become something to sell - ex. Usually jealousy is about control, ownership, and contempt. So we’ve talked about me being jealous before, and it just sucks for both of us because he doesn’t like seeing me upset/anxious about something I don’t need to worry about. That does not mean you are not wealthy, lucky, smart, quick and strong. Any good life changes basically. They met first. Literally. It helps us appreciate the people today who are in our lives, not to take them for granted as always being there How to stop feeling inferior and jealous of other women just for existing? Hi! I have been in a relationship for the past 5 years. Has your ex moved on already? Was it quick? When they move on before you, it can hurt. If you slept with your ex that escalates the situation even further because now you've been intimate and shared that experience with the ex. Jealous of the latter because having someone into you is like the reason to live. You can unlearn Point being that if we’re watching TV or a movie and she quips that Paul Rudd is aging in reverse and looking great I don’t get all bent because well Paul Rudd is objectively good looking and more power to him! Unless your girlfriend is actively stalking celebs or genuinely comparing you to them just keep it light and playful. They were best friends first and I don’t want him to stop being best friends with his friends just because I’m jealous. I'd like to get rid of this headache and stop looking at reddit. We must accept that others have the freedom to move about their life and attain the goals they want for themselves. Someone moving to a better state, getting a better job. First, their "rebound" isn't getting the best of them. To say I'm jealous or bitter is an understatement. This is perfectly normal, you are perfectly normal. I've never been really jealous of any of the other girls his dad dated because they weren't really mother figures, so I think I need to work on being more confident or something. Me, I'm still a I (32F) have been co parenting my son with my ex for almost 10 years. hey i'm an older brother and although our situations aren't completely the same, a lot of it is similar. Any time you're spending being insecure about this should be spent on your gf, imo. I’ve expressed my jealousy to my brother about all of this. you are 16 yo and you are craving for love. Hopefully you can appreciate the logic of that even if you can't feel it Both, for different reasons. It is accepting the will of others so long as that will isn't damaging or dangerous to the self. I got kinda jealous and honestly my paranoia is not going away. EDIT: I was also trying to note that I only really saw my mom's live in girlfriends as like "the How can I stop myself from being envious of other people's success? I look at people my age (25) and find myself being jealous and this leads to me getting into a depressive state. Stop victimizing yourself and move forward. Of course, me being me, have gotten jealous. It's nice. By the way, I had a top of the line Grand Cherokee, they are awesome. Taking out that jealousy onto her is wrong and absolutely puts you in YTA territory. Life is about moving forward. I am human too so I get jealous as well but I keep telling myself she loves me and remind myself of the many different ways she shows me she I think in the some way there are girls who tend to keep in touch with their exes, there are guys who can deal with that. Abuse, shaming, sexism, and encouraging violence/revenge are not tolerated here. I think part of that pain is not being able to understand how they’re able to move on so quickly. So here is the thing, you will always feel jealous (probably) but the thing is, you need reassurance, that you are the special one, the right one for him, now how to bring this out of him without being too obvious about it is pretty hard. i haven't talked to my brother in years, if ever, and our relationship is non existent. When you are jealous of others, it’s not because of how much they have. Sometimes, it's hard to not feel a tinge of jealousy Either one can walk you through this experience and teach you the specific skills and strategies you need to detach yourself from this relationship, learn how to stop obsessing about your Ex, release the pain and anger, heal and grow, and Explore reasons why your ex moved on as if you were nothing. It's okay to feel jealous of other people. I'm an extremely jealous person. My transfer came with a small raise & was followed by a big bump six months later & again a year later. Got recruited & joined a startup for another 33% boost. Jealousy in and of itself is neither healthy nor unhealthy. And had the tables been turned, I would have felt pangs of jealousy. I would try and direct the jealousy towards building something positive. It would be a dick move to leave you without any direction on how to start. . You can do it. It feels like he used me and is now getting rewarded for it. ) It means taking steps today that bring you closer to your goal. The only way to stop being jealous is the same way you do anything. Tell him that you want to cut the cord so you can both move on. I want to love it to the point where it’s my second home. i’ve been in your situation, but honestly there’s not a lot you can do. Wether it is about people, objects, status, and so on I can feel sad being left out, obviously, but I don’t feel something negative because some has something I don’t or not being exclusive on something. Being a "good person" is and always will be a conscious decision, a effort, too. It’s awesome to be able to spend your money on you and people you care about, which doesn’t include a nasty ass cheating (ex) wife. You say you are boring and unattractive, so workout and find hobbies, better yourself instead of just being jealous of others. the only thing you can do to stop being jealous is to decide to stop being jealous, I'm more in the camp of it's okay to be jealous and even a little bit negative as long as it spurs you on to keep moving toward self So its important you find your core beliefs. That’s always been the way. Say something positive instead. I wanted to have a rebound hookup, so I ended up on this site. Moving out on my own after getting divorced was much more freeing but I don’t recommend that obviously. Keep on keeping on and put your energy into your work! Good day and good luck! Sounds to me like the jealousy is more about who gets to spent time with home (via school) rather than that he might leave you for one of these girls, who you admit know all about you and like you! See if it’s possible to move some things around in your schedule to get more time together and I bet some of these feelings subside. and he's only this significant to you right now because he's your main friend, so its too easy to focus on everything he does and Here are 4 reasons you feel insecure about your boyfriend's ex, plus how to not be jealous of his ex anymore. Quit interacting with your ex. It is bitter, makes you more hateful, frustrated. Retroactive jealousy, or a fixation with your partner’s exes, can hurt your relationship and mental health. I’m sick of being unhappy with my life. what you do well at. A person who is going to cheat will follow that drive no matter what. Feel the feels and then you can move on. The world is extremely unfair and being unhappy about getting dealt a shitty hand in life isn't unreasonable. It would be unnatural to have no sense of jealousy at all. They will want them to remain yearning for them, however, once you moved on, you have disconnected from them. My point is that grace and good manners can be learned, and physical attributes have a very short lifespan. Why would you be jealous? He is her ex. You will have your choice of hot looking ladies now. You feeling jealous does not mean it's true that those girls are better, more attractive than you. You're afraid. Go get therapy, work on your negative belief system and low self esteem, and find out what value/strengths you have that make you feel good about yourself. I don’t know if my feelings are valid or if I am just going nuts. So here's a little mental exercise. I also like to think, all the choices they made, all the people in their past, meant I don't care about being rich (even tho I want to) but famous people have so many people that love them and I kind of want that I guess. Hopefully you can appreciate the logic of that even if you can't feel it That gut-wrenching moment when you find out your ex has moved on with someone else. Race isn’t over yet, they just got a big head start. Compassionate acceptance is its opposite. Especially considering your aggression towards her in your other post. I was hurting a lot after my last break up. Frankly - therapy. Whenever my friends get a piece of good news I tend to feel jealous. My ex moved too fast, possibly she cheated on me. Jealousy will eat you up inside and then have your relationship for dessert. Being friends with ex's is a tricky situation even without a jealous partner but when your partner disagrees it's time to let go of the ex. From the stories he's told me, she's a genuinely amazing person. Its so fuckinh heartbreaking. And you will continue to feel the tug and be jealous as long as you're in touch with him. But the worst thing is the jealousy. then, set some goals. I don’t think trying to get rid of the jealousy is the right mentality. All they are doing is soothing the pain but can just transfer that to the next person. You are her current boyfriend. I don't care about being rich (even tho I want to) but famous people have so many people that love them and I kind of want that I guess. If you want things that are costly (children, moving, beach houses, etc) you have to earn it. Be aware (which it sounds like you are) and shut your mouth when you're about to bring someone down. You have dodged a bullet, as they say. if you're jealous of someone's amazing job, use it to motivate you to make a career change. Until it stops being an effort. We’ve been together for about a year and I half and I love him so much :( I need to stop being so jealous and annoying but I don’t know how. Well, not to be condescending but things like trips and stuff are super fulfilling. You used to be able to break up with someone without having their image, memory, and new life constantly creeping into your atmosphere. I want to clarify that the jealousy isn't romantic, I am also jealous imagining close friends replacing me with someone new. think about what you were like with them and how you are now. I (anyone) can be both jealous (or sad or whatever) AND happy for their friend at the same time. Coping with your ex moving on can be a difficult and emotional experience. EDIT: Since I am noticing this in the comments, I really don't resent or have any ill feelings towards the people I'm jealous of, it's just a panic of losing something, and I get pretty down on myself. That's fair. Daunting, I know. It's not soft advice, but it was what I needed to hear, even though I'm a girl. I’ve never been the jealous type before, but I am super jealous of my boyfriend’s ex gf. Then jealousy and anxiety only apply to things like jobs, cars and ability to pursue hobbies. it sounds like you threw your marriage away and are upset with your ex moving on and with dealing with the repercussions of what happened. focus on your positives. so your ex moving on shouldn't impact you this much, but since you're obsessing over it you clearly have some type of stronger feelings for your ex than your However, whenever he was talking it was difficult to enter the conversation because she’d be focused on him and sometimes when I was in the middle of the convo, they’d walk faster or slower and move closer together so I’d have to move to one of the sides. stop seeing your flaws, how you think you are lacking, how someone else is better at something then you are, etc. hate to break it to you, but jealousy has nothing to do with the other person, it’s all about you. If your partner chooses to be with you, trust that you're good enough and you don't have anything to worry about. i’m Lately I’ve been getting super jealous when I find out that someone is making more money than me be it a family member or a friend. To stop worrying about things that you cannot change. You don't know what made your partner leave the guy. Who knows. Hooked up with a girl and one year later, we're in love lol. that Jealousy is normal. Me and another guy were hired around the same time as juniors. I even caught myself researching transfer rates for Ivy Leagues, I I approached a girl to start conversation and she just raised her hand to get me to shut up and walked away. For everyone that is not positive its a real concerted effort until it is not. I stopped that kind of stuff now, as I believe I should be the change I want in our relationship. No, I don’t. I hope my story helped you. This sounds more like insecurity on your part than jealousy. Keep at it. Especially the dudes that text her everyday, always snapping, constantly trying to hangout, and commenting on her ig. Keep getting put off by other people. Reply reply A user asks how to get over being jealous of their ex who broke up with them 3 months ago and is now dating another girl. So long as you're not a control freak, being wary of others is normal and (in moderation) healthy. people move on, forgive, forget yada yada. This woman should use the ex for an example of how to behave, instead of being jealous of It is under-discussed just how difficult the social media age has made breakups. Ppl aren’t always showing their pain, they choose to try and hide it. I read this when I was dealing with a break up. The heart wants what it wants and no matter how much you love or care or are jealous for someone, you can't stop them from moving on from you. Being jealous of times when your partner didn't even know you existed is very concerning. Truth is alot of people can't even trust after going through that and need time to process it anyway. Here are some coping strategies to get over it. I mean, shit, my ex is (due to my stupid, stupid idea of looking her up a few weeks ago because I thought I was done getting over her) getting married in a month to the man she left me for. It just means you are feeling jealous and that's normal. It really is that simple, unless of course OP can't stop being jealous, in which case OP should really sort out their own personal issues before having a Jealousy root cause #3: Fear : One of the root causes behind jealousy is being afraid. I think I used to get really jealous of my friends and family when they had better stuff than me or looked better than me or even just a small thing would set me off to be jealous but during the whole 2019-2020 I did a lot We've all been jealous of our partner's sexual / relationship history at some point or another, but when 'normal, relatively healthy' jealousy extends to constant, unwanted, painful instrusive thoughtsabout your partner's past, coupled with excessive questioning and reassurance-seeking, disturbing mental images and 'videos', anxiety, and seemingly irrational anger directed at your Breakups hurt, especially when you see your ex moving on so quickly. it huts cause i do love him a lot. I know this is hard to do but you can, with your own pace, start to change things you don't like about yourself, and i mean physical/emotional things. You need to move on as he already has. OP you are going to have to learn how to stop being inside your head and stop living your life to please men. But first, move to a quiet place, make sure you won't be distracted, prepare a pen and paper, and a box of tissue if your one to cry from reading Where The Red Fern Grows: HOWEVUH. Having a knowledgeable support system is priceless whether your a college student or tradesperson etc. Here are expert tips to overcome your insecurities. You don't call your spouse names, full stop. How to stop being jealous of my bf’s coworker Hello, I have never in my life ever been jealous of a partners friends. He says they broke up over 4 months ago, but she posted a picture with him 3 months ago. it doesn’t sound like she is “invading” your life at all. If anything their new person is one helluva emotional tampon. Oh, I hope your ex realizes she screwed up and shit in her mess kit. Somewhere in your life have you conditioned yourself to feel like this or see things like this. Tyler is one of her friends and even says that he likes me being around. I am doing awful. You can't just sit around being jealous and hoping the universe drops everything at your feet. If you need to, talk calmly with your BF about it. She said she found being with women better. My husband, being the good sport that he is, is very supportive of me moving on and finding another lady, but as soon as he brings up the possibility of him dating, I feel sick to my stomach. Sometimes, it's hard to not feel a tinge of jealousy when you think Been trying to stop myself from being jealous especially from things I can’t change. You’re allowed to feel negative emotions and you don’t have to squash them. I don’t tell them about this and I try to keep it to myself. What worked for me were two things. Things you need from him within your relationship to help you feel as if One of my exes became my ex because he was overly jealous and he let the jealousy consume him. once you have some goals and a 1, 5, and 10 year plan, outline Instead of hating the fact that you get jealous think of the fact that WANTING things is what has driven humans to where we are today with all the nice things such as houses, car, running water, etc. Take some dance lessons or circus lessons or yoga classes to get comfortable with moving and stretching your body (if physically able). But eventually once you move on, you will be so much healthier than your ex who moved on first, who might still be not over the fact that you moved on, cus when he or she did, they had you and they suddenly realize that you're no more available. If a gf of mine talks to any guys in any situation I get jealous (FYI I dont lash out or get mad or call her out, I just feel it strongly). I feel (throwaway acc) I'm a 20M and every time a gf of mine talks/texts another guy, I get filled with jealousy. Your ex will be jealous of you, because some men, especially narcissistic ones, hate seeing their ex’s happy. i think it just seems like he likes these people more than you because you're already anxious about it, so you're convincing yourself that him associating with other people equals something bad. Jealousy root cause #4: Insecurity: Feelings of insecurity are the result of the two previously mentioned causes. Sometimes it's justified, but if im being honest with myself, 99% of the time it isn't. Really hope everyone has and had a good night. It's about meeting and growing with people that push you and develop you. you know you have moved on when you don’t have any romantic feelings attached to that person anymore, and when you have neutral feelings attached to the memories you shared. People are weird. Tbh I think some jealousy (over any situation) is okay. I am jealous of the former because having more sex as a man means you have more status, which feels good. of course i still miss and think about my ex, he was my best friend for over three years. You don't know the dude. my brother is way more independent and strong than i could ever i don’t think moving on is about if you still miss or think about them. " Again, they decided to break off and now we're all friends. YOU can be really athletic, too. Stop hating on your friends' successes. They were together for 3 years and lived together for most of it. Basically everyone gets jealous, and you don't just "stop". When I moved back to my current town and was really into a guy long distance, I ran into an ex who I had been very close too. Knowing how to overcome jealousy is really about knowing how to overcome yourself. If you are suffering from depression, seeing a therapist is an esteem-building activity (and a shortcut to achieving everything else. Her being lonely: well, she and her bf just went to a far off place to rekindle their relationship and he said that they’ve been “obsessed” with each other ever since. Moving out from my parents helped but getting them out of my head has taken many years and sometimes, they’re still in there. Not "thoughts" or "research". It's none of your concern any longer. Keep raising your son to be the best son he can ever possibly be. However, just as you didn't choose your abusive upbringing, people from privileged backgrounds didn't choose theirs either. In time, you'll find it becomes easier and these feelings less intense. You can’t change him with threats, manipulation, nada. Accept the fact that you are jealous and you will overcome the general feeling you get from jealousy faster and it will affect you a lot less over Maybe it's because I don't even bother to think about or keep up with my own exes. I’m in a similar boat. People deal with breakups in different ways. But it always angers me how I’m so poor and barely getting by and it seems like everyone else is just doing so much better than me. Experienced etc. First, acknowledging that its okay to be both. The key is to keep coming back to these principles and to keep working on shifting your perspective. As in, stop texting him all the time. Jealousy only becomes a problem when it: Overwhelms any positive thoughts you might have (ie it’s the only thing you feel) Builds into resentment (ie you actively hate others out of jealousy) I told him that I find it strange how they are still friends cuz personally, I can't stay friends with my exes or old crushes at least until I move on completely and stop liking them he asked whether we're gonna stay friends if we break up I answered that I don't know ill probably still love him so ill need time, He said being friends with ur People tend to say jealousy comes from insecurities, I don't believe that to be the case 100% but it is partially true. 5 minutes later, she APPROACHES my younger brother and asks for his number, completely ignoring me despite us being the same age and my brother being much younger. the more it warms up and starts to move. To keep things kinda concise, my past relationships have been with very inexperienced guys, but R and I have both had a lot of different sexual partners in the past. My partner's exes are even less relevant to my life than my own. You're already doing it right now. your ex doesnt need to be miserable without you and your children certainly Rules reminder: r/survivinginfidelity is a support sub! Please read the rules and guidelines in our sub wiki before commenting. It helped me tremendously with moving forward, not looking back and not being jealous. It's a feeling, like any other. move companies if you feel under paid. Try not to dwell on it. Fortunately, it is absolutely possible to Here are 4 reasons you feel insecure about your boyfriend's ex, plus how to not be jealous of his ex anymore. Jealousy is a disease. Like title says; after a long time serious relationship ending, don’t know how to get over my ex gf moving on, and seeing her with other people (especially when you live in same area, go to the same places). He was a coworker and they had a fling but she stopped being with him. I think it’s childish to be jealous of someone for being well liked. To stop beating yourself up based on how you currently feel. Archived post. bqzisw qsygajv irewga peh axsfhir lwot ichqa wlm ffkry bgm